Beginner’s Tips When Getting a Tattoo

In the past two or three years, one of my newfound passions has been tattoos. I love having them, the culture surrounding having ink on my body, and goddamn, it is just addicting, so even if I did not feel strongly, I would still continue getting artwork embedded into my skin.

While I have plenty of friends who do have tattoos, most do not. I always get asked questions because not only do I have some, I have done extensive research on the topic. Whether that is watching or reading interviews with artists or asking questions when I go in for an appointment. Since I know many people without any might also want answers before sitting down and going through pain for a few hours, here are some beginner’s tips for tattoos.

1. Don’t go for something too small

Over course, it depends on what you want to get, but it is best to not get something too small for your first tattoo. You should experience the whole process as a whole, even the pain. A lot more goes into going into a shop and getting a tattoo. The artist will speak with you about your idea and draw something up, then get your approval for that concept. After the consultation, the tattooer makes a stencil, an inked outline that goes on your body that they trace during the linework. Finally, they get to add all the details, color, and/or shading to your piece (if you are getting something that is more than lines, that is up to what style you want, but we will get to that later).

Depending on what you want and where you want it, your artist may advise something bigger than what you had in mind. The smaller then, the harder it is to create detail for your piece. Personally, I go for a lot of detail for both the artwork that I get and follow on Instagram. If I wanted something two or three inches, then I would limit the tattooer.

The other problem comes later down the line as your tattoo may not age properly if it is too small. A lot of factors go into aging, and size sometimes can affect how things look in the future.

Finally, you should get something that fits that part of your body. I have a cardinal sitting on a branch with some leaves and acorns on my inner bicep. It fills the area without unnecessary space left open. If it did not, then it would look awkward or limit other ideas and placements for those potential tattoos.

2. Research, Research, Research

If you take anything away from this article, let it be that you have to research two major things.

For one, you should look into the plethora of styles that are out in the wild. Most of the time, people go for black/grey (no, it is not black and white or whatever people call it) or traditional/American traditional. Getting one of these two is totally fine because the beauty of art is there is no right or wrong on what you like. You should know the variety in what you can get goes beyond what you see on an average day. A few of my favorites include colored realism, surrealism, and new school.

Once you find out some styles that you like, you need to find the right artist. Look up every shop in your area that you are willing to travel to, then look at each artist. A shop may have a website with people’s portfolios, or you can visit people’s Instagram, the magical land of finding good tattooers. If you like 80 percent or more of their work, then they might be right for you.

3. Contacting Artists

When contacting artists, you may e-mail them or DM them on Instagram; it depends on their system. Regardless, you need to make sure you include certain details. After a pleasant hello (you would be surprised by how many people message “tattoo?” or some bullshit), you will explain what you want, if it is color or black/grey, approximate size, and the placement.

Like I previously said, when you have your day of the appointment, you will be walked through a process with the artist. If you have any concerns since it is your first time, then bring it up to them as they are there to make this easy as possible for you.

4. Be Open-Minded

The best experience for a client and ink master, you need to have a balance between getting what you want and what they want. You will lay out a foundational idea of what you want, like a rose, which is a classic piece many people have. The artist will elevate it by adding maybe a bee sitting on it. Of course, they will bring up ideas to you, and you will work together to come up with the final product.

Listen to what their ideas are and be open to what ideas may come about. For me, I say what I want and then let them run wild. When I got my cardinal, I wanted a cardinal in color. Alex Fiore, the tattooer who made the piece, asked if she could add some leaves and acorns, so I told her to surprise me.

5. Things not to say

You will piss someone off if you say the wrong thing, or at least they will think about you negatively. To have a good relationship if artists, here are things not to say:

  • “Tattoo gun.” It is not a gun; it is a machine.
  • “How much?” There are so many factors (we will get into it) about pricing, so if you have money, then get a tattoo. If you don’t, then wait.
  • “Are we almost done?” Be patient and don’t rush the artist. It takes a while, so you have to settle with the commitment.
  • It is okay to express your pain, but ease up on it to not to annoy everyone in the shop.

6. Pricing

Like I said, there are so many factors into pricing, making it hard for an artist to give you how much it will cost before you even started or finished. The style you get, how much the person charges, time, color or black/grey, etc., go into calculating how much you will pay.

7. Bringing People

Every artist is okay with you bringing a buddy, family member, or significant other in my experience. However, you should only bring one person. Most would not want you having more than one person, especially depending on how big their workstation is. It is a good idea to bring someone, especially for your first time, as emotional support can carry you through the hours of pain.

8. Placement

You are thinking, “where should I place my tattoo? Apparently, the placement will determine the level of pain or how the tattoo will look?” Then let’s break those questions down.

While I believe you need a decent-sized piece to take up a good three to four hours for your first experience, you need a spot on your body that will be less excruciating, especially if you have a low pain tolerance like myself. I would recommend the top of the thigh, upper arm, and most of the outer parts of the arm make it easier. Do know that you will still face some, but that level of anguish is up to the individual client.

Secondly, where you place, it can disrupt the flow of future pieces or not sit well on that part of the body. Luckily, your artist will take care of that for you. If you want a snake on a part that will flow awkwardly, then the tattooer should offer an alternative. Be open-minded and not set on where you want your snake or flower or whatever, as what you have pictured may not look good.

An additional bit of information is to not get your tattoo upside down. When I put my arm forward, people see my train right side up. If it was facing me, then showing it to people would be upside down. Any respectable artist will not make something facing towards you because across the industry, it is the wrong thing to do.

9. What if you get something bad? Laser? Coverups?

Even if you do your research, some unethical artists post work they did not do or modify it with a program or filter. It happens to clients who do all the right things. Maybe it was nothing on the artist, you end up not liking it anymore, or it does not resonate with you as you got it when you were too young. You have a few options.

Depending on what is done, you can get it fixed. This is not guaranteed, the tattooer you go to may not know how, but some may know how to fix up the problems with your bad ink. Somethings cannot be saved, so that is where you may have to go down another road.

Covering up your regretful choice or getting fucked over by someone who gave you something ugly on your body may or may not be possible. The darkness of it, color usage, size, etc., will determine if you cannot get it covered, but if you come across someone who does it well, then get their input to see if it can happen.

Maybe you can get that coverup, but you may need to get it lasered. It does not mean completely removed, sometimes getting enough laser work to make it light enough to bury under a good piece of ink. Also, like anything in life, do your research. Not all tattoo removal technicians are the same; make sure you get someone good at their job.

11 Songs That Will Emotionally Destroy You

The thing I search for in the music that I listen to comes from having an emotional attachment to the songs. I will follow a band if they can rip my heart out with the lyrics and the delivery with everything else that follows. So, I want to ruin your day with these rollercoaster tunes that will either give you an overwhelming amount of anxiety, an immense amount of sadness, or you are like me who feels a sense of euphoria from negative themes.

#11: Disturbed – Already Gone

Disturbed have written around 100 songs that almost all will make you feel things. Singer David Draiman has gone over topics like broken relationships, mental illness, and the holocaust. Off the latest album, 2018’s Evolution, one song takes the cake, Already Gone.

Half the album holds the classic Disturbed style that they are known for, then the other half are ballads. This acoustic track brings out Draiman’s most emotional performance to date as he somberly sings about the overwhelming amount of death around him, heavily inspired by fellow musicians who have passed too soon in recent years.

#10: Cattle Decapitation – Death Atlas

It may seem weird to put Cattle Decapitation on here, but the title track to the band’s latest release is a thought-provoking masterpiece that will spiral you into a deep depression as you realize how we are hopeless in saving our planet. These veterans in heavy music deliver their bleakest record yet, and this song is a prime example.

#9: Carnifex – Dark Days

Sometimes a subject can be a band’s brand, like climate change with Cattle Decapitation, or how mental illness is for Carnifex. The deathcore legends have some of the most depressing music out there, and I think Dark Days goes deeper than anything without having to be over the top like other tracks.

The lyric that gets me before the guitar solo comes from the line, “a lost soul, no god can save.” Every time I hear that I feel cold, then we get a slick moment from Jordan Lockrey. The lead guitarist’s solo will drag you down into depths of sorrow, so don’t think Scott Ian Lewis stepping back for a few seconds means you are safe.

#8: Skillet – The Last Night

While it has hope, The Last Night is one of Skillet’s most chilling songs. The realistic look on someone with depression with lyrics describing parents who don’t care and cutting creates a dreadful image. They may be named after kitchenware, but the level of darkness has hardly been achieved by the Christian group since the release of Comatose.

#7: You Me at Six – Fireworks

I don’t know about you, but Fireworks never fails to destroy me every time I listen to it. Not only does it have compelling lyrics, but the structure also builds up for an impactful punch. When I want a sad relationship song, this is my first choice.

#6: Breaking Benjamin – Dear Agony

Not only is Dear Agony the best album that Breaking Benjamin has put out, but the title track is also their biggest heartstring puller. While much of the record seeps deep into mental health, this one dives straight to the bottom where all of misery and pain currently lie.

#5: The Ghost Inside – White Light

Losing someone close is never easy. Jonathan Vigil lost his brother, which lead to White Light. He brings out the most pain he has ever let out in his career. Usually, the band goes against the tradition of making negative music by writing uplifting tunes that will still give any metalhead that much needed adrenaline rush. This is the first time where that spirit turns black and delivers a different tone than fans are used to for The Ghost Inside.

If you want to feel even more than this song will already make you then watch a live video, trust me.

#4: Whitechapel – Diggs Road

When a song starts off by saying, “suicide, it brings me life,” then you know you are in trouble of shedding some tears. Phil Bozeman has had a painful life, and he expresses that in a majority of Whitechapel’s albums. From Our Endless War, Diggs Road closes things out on a somber note that has never been done before that release. Prepare yourself before listening.

If you are ready for it, then if you have not already, check out The Valley. The band’s most recent release delves into the whole story behind Bozeman’s dark lyrical content.

#3: Slipknot – Snuff

Speaking of songs that will have you cry, here is Slipknot’s most emotional creation in their entire history. Snuff is one hell of a monster, not only lyrically but vocally. Corey Taylor’s pain can be felt through his words and voice. There is a reason we don’t normally see the band play this one life.

#2: Beartooth – Sick and Disgusting

You know something is uncomfortably emotional when the singer of a band does not like his own song. Caleb Shomo sings and cries through his performance through the conclusion of the first Beartooth album. It is at a raw level that the vocalist has not said positive things about this track.

#1: La Dispute – King Park

Nothing gave me more chills then when my buddy sent me this song. La Dispute loves to tackle real stories in the news, and this one turns into their best and most haunting creation. King Park goes over the story of one person trying to kill another but ends up accidentally murdering a child, then the rest you need to listen to if you want to find out how it ends.

The final two minutes to minute and a half is where things get moving. The instrumentation is disturbingly tight, while Jordan Dryer continues his distinct twist on spoken word poetry. Nothing can prepare you for this, so listen with caution.

What songs make you a complete mess after listening? Let me know in the comments.

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8 Bands That Fit Perfectly For Your Doom Eternal Playlist

Doom Eternal is inching forward with every passing day. While the 2016 reboot had plenty to offer, the one surprise was its incredibly brutal music. Nothing beats an ultra-violent video game where you kill demons than listening to heavy metal. If you are a metalhead gamer like myself and need something more than what the composer Mick Gordon comes up with, then you have come to the right place.

#8: Shadow of Intent

Outside of being one of the best newcomers in the extreme underworld of metal, Shadow of Intent already has plenty of sci-fi game inspirations as vocalist Ben Duerr has written songs about Halo. It would only be fitting it listen to this deathcore group in another space-fueled adventure.

#7: Slipknot

If you are listening to metal, you have to dabble with some of Iowa’s scariest masked crew. They strike the right amount of weird and heavy that is needed when going through space and various worlds to kill off hellish creatures. Get your heart pumping and your hands ready on that controller or keyboard and mouse when blasting People = Shit.

#6: Slayer

The most devilish of thrash bands, the retired Slayer should have been able to work on the game as much of their music reflects Doom. Satan and violence, what more could you want from these icons?

#5: Behemoth

Continuing on that evil side of things, Behemoth might be on the wrong side of the battle that Doom Slayer is on as he would probably mistake the polish musicians as servants of the entities plaguing the universe. If they happen to survive the BFG (big fucking gun), then it would be a gruesome collaboration as the protagonist slashes and blasts through his enemies while listening to the band’s masterpiece creation, The Satanist.

#4: The Black Dahlia Murder

The dark storytelling power of The Black Dahlia Murder’s vocalist Trevor Strnad along with their riff action and percussive beats of his bandmates, this death metal group would undoubtedly aid in the fight against the hellish monsters. Take any of their albums and go all out in a killing frenzy.

#3: Cannibal Corpse

If you are playing Doom, one of the most violent shooters in the genre, then might as well turn on your preferred way of listening to music to jam out to some Cannibal Corpse. You want brutality, well then Butchered at Birth or Tomb of the Mutilated should satisfy gaming metalheads.

#2: Cattle Decapitation

Cattle Decapitation might be talking about the environment, but I think killing demons to save the universe is an excellent way to tackle those issues. Listen to their two latest apocalyptic releases Death Atlas and The Anthropocene Extinction, then you will become invincible even on the hardest of difficulties.

#1: Deceased

Similarly to TBDM, Deceased has speedy, powerful songs that get matched with some of the best and darkest storytelling from King Fowley. This is a band I need to write a concept album on the ominous demon slayer.

What bands will you be listening to when Doom Eternal releases? Let me know in the comments so I can add them to my playlist.

Doom Eternal releases March 20 on PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC.

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Header image via id Software/Bethesda

Top 12 Heavy Metal Screamers

Metal has a reputation of not being accessible, mostly due to the heavier genres taking things a step further with the screaming. Most may not like it, but it is my drug, I am addicted to heavy music with this harsh style of vocalization. I had to do a lot of thinking on this one, and it may change later this year or in a few years when I discover new bands, but as of now, these are my top favorites of the masters of brutality.

#12: Caleb Shomo (Beartooth)

Caleb Shomo has a phenomenal voice, but I feel his regular singing is better than his screams, yet they work so well with Beartooth’s hardcore inspired style.

Along with the music, he loads up every lyric with so much emotion that it makes his passion standout to make for some of the most powerful metal music in the scene. He makes me feel as I bang my head every time.

#11: Johan Hegg (Amon Amarth)

Johan’s vocals match well with his Viking and Norse mythological inspired lyrics. His monstrous voice could easily come from a creature that the ancient pillagers believed in as he goes over his fascination with these themes.

#10: Corey Taylor (Slipknot)

Of course, I had to put Corey Mother Fucking Taylor on this list. His range brightens through his clean vocals then dulls out in his screams, like Shomo. What he lacks is made up based on his iconic voice that has inspired almost every metal band that has popped up since the release of Slipknot’s second album Iowa.

#9: Winston McCall (Parkway Drive)

Unlike most metalcore groups, McCall’s delivery gives some resemblance to heavier genres like death metal as he belts out booming screams and some spine chilling highs. When it comes to his neck of the woods in the metal underworld, it is hard to beat the Australian vocalist.

#8: Spencer Charnas (Ice Nine Kills)

The horror-loving frontman of Ice Nine Kills has a distinguishable approach to his style of vocalization. Death metal-inspired highs and lows certainly can be heard while he does classic medium registered screams and then hops into that weird middle ground of screaming and clean singing every other word. I feel like he is not fully appreciated, and anyone who has not heard INK then you better start with their last album, The Silver Scream.

#7: Spencer Sotelo (Periphery)

Arguably one of the best singers/screamers in modern metal, this other Spencer from Periphery can flip back and forth from smooth, beautiful singing to a shocking monster unlike anyone else in metalcore. He has a bold range but has his own sound that is hard to replicate.

#6: Randy Blythe (Lamb of God)

Not having Randy Blythe on here is like not having Corey Taylor. Of course, I had to put this legend here. The dreadlocked singer stands out not only with his impressive talent but from his signature sound that drops jaws every time he opens his mouth.

Interesting enough, unlike everyone else who has to learn the art of brutal vocals, Randy told Loudwire that he simply can make that sound. It started as a joke, and here he is, a punk guy who is a metal God.

#5: Scott Ian Lewis (Carnifex)

Carnifex, like some others, leads deathcore from its origins and continues to do so today. Fronted by Scott Ian Lewis, who has a classic voice for anyone who listens to the genre or the inspiration of this extreme movement, death metal. His voice makes his profoundly sorrowful lyrics more impactful. While some in this area of metal lean one way or another of doing higher or lower registered vocals better, Lewis can do every part equally as brutally with nothing getting left behind.

#4: Trevor Strnad (The Black Dahlia Murder)

Metal haters may think all screamers sound the same, and while many sounds similar, that is because they want to imitate their influences like George “Corpsegrinder,” Phil Bozeman, or whoever else that person seeks out as their inspiration. Then you get Trevor Strnad, who proves those people wrong.

His distinctive lows are one thing, but it is his highs that I think makes him such a legend. Those wicked witch vocals sound unlike anyone else out there. Replicating him would be foolish as everyone should strive to be an individual, like this death metal veteran. There is a reason The Black Dahlia Murder are a mighty force in the dark depths of blood, guts, and nightmares.

#3: Ben Duerr (Shadow of Intent)

I am calling here, Shadow of Intent will be new leaders of deathcore and Ben Duerr is the guy everyone will look to as he is breaking ground in the genre. I have not heard gutturals so good since Phil Bozeman, and I have certainly not heard anyone who has this type of range in a while. Keep your eyes open because this band, and vocalist, are the next big thing for fans wanting the heaviest metal possible.

#2: Phil Bozeman (Whitechapel)

Speaking of Bozeman and groundbreaking vocals, the Whitechapel singer goes above and beyond with his vocal performance with every album. His highs are good, but nothing impressive. What makes the Tenessee native an idol to all screamers who have formed since the release of The Somatic Defilement comes from his lows and gutturals. He has his own voice with techniques to create demonic sounds that boggle minds since 2007.

On top of that, the man can actually sing shockingly well. I wonder what other secret talents he is hiding from his fans.

#1: Travis Ryan (Cattle Decapitation)

I could be wrong, but I think Ryan is the most innovative vocalist in death metal/deathgrind/deathcore. Nobody in this extreme level of heaviness has a range like him. Whether it is his Cookie Monster lows, his brutal gutturals, shrieking highs, or his weirdly melodic vocals, he can do it all to the point I think nobody else can reach.

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15 Games That Allow You to Pet Dogs

Dogs are one of the most redeemable things on the planet as humans have to deal with so many atrocities day in and day out. Video games are another way to let go of that darkness, so nothing beats when a developer allows its player base to pet dogs in that world. If you want to play and give furry friends a little pat on the head or a good belly rub, then here are 15 that you will need to put on your list if you have not already.

#15: Runescape

Yes, of all the games I am starting with, Runescape is the first on the list. It might be hard for most people to even look at its pixelated graphics as the game has been out of date for years, but you can pet dogs, so there is an excellent reason to play if you want some nostalgia.

#14: A Plague Tale: Innocence

After a brief introduction, the first thing you get to do in this stealth game is to pet a dog named Lion. Now that is a way to start an otherwise depressing game. Just watch out for everything that occurs shortly after.

#13: Blair Witch

The biggest selling point to this horror title is the dog, Bullet. Not only can you pet the good boy, but there are also other interactions with him to ease the pain of playing a spooky game.

#12: Darksiders: Genesis

In this top and down hack and slasher, you can take a brief break from the killing to pet a demonic doggy. The creatures may look scary, but they are friendly enough to let you give them some love.

#11: Divinity: Original Sin 2

This RPG was highly acclaimed back in 2017. Though I missed out, I do have an urge to play it despite knowing little to nothing at all. But I cannot possibly miss out on a dog waiting for me to pet his or her’s little head.

#10: Far Cry 5

I did not end up loving Far Cry 5 the more I played it as it fell flat after its incredible beginning. That said, having the various pets made it much more tolerable, especially Boomer, the doggo. He can grab new guns for his owner that he loves so much, then you reward him with a few pats on his body, which seems fair enough.

#9: The Sims 4

I know the other Sims games have pets, but I am just talking about the latest one that most people will likely still play. Either way, you can get a dog to pet and make sure he/she has the best life possible. You better build a giant house just for your furry companion.

Plus you have so many options to choose. Give me a dozen corgis, please.

#8: Stunt Corgi VR

Nothing more immersive in virtual reality that petting a corgi who does insane stunts. How am I hearing about this now when this game came out back in 2018? I am disappointed with myself.

#7: Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age – Definitive Edition

I know almost nothing about the Dragon Quest games except for the things I hear about from its passionate fans. Well, whatever reasons they have for loving this franchise, I understand to a degree because you know, dogs.

#6: Luigi’s Mansion 3

Not all ghosts are bad, as this spiritual pooch will revive you and let you pet his/her. Though, I do question how Luigi is physically touching a ghost.

#5: Overcooked 2

In between intense cooking matches to save the world, why not take a break to give some love to man’s best friend?

Also, you can play a level where you cook for a dog. I need to buy this game now.

#4: Red Dead Redemption 2

Rockstar Games’ latest masterpiece is a sprawling world with so much to do, plus petting a wide range of animals. The dogs in this Western are not one breed, you can find multiple kinds of friends who would love to let you give them some pat, pat, pat on their side, and rub their faces.

#3: The Walking Dead: The Final Season

I never finished TellTale’s The Walking Dead series. Maybe I should go back and play the finale for, you know, reasons like zombies, perhaps the story, or perhaps something else that barks and likes receiving treats.

#2: Life is Strange 2

I know the gist of Life is Strange, but now that I know about the dog, I may have to give it a shot. Thanks for the motivation to try it out devs.

#1: League of Legends

How have I dismissed one of the most popular games in the world when there are dogs in it? Now I need to reevaluate League of Legends after this news.

What are some games I missed? Let me know in the comments.

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Header image via Ubisoft

12 Best Movies of 2019

2019 was full of ups and downs in the film world. Letdown horror flicks with some superb executions, epic superhero conclusions with some not so stellar origin stories, and then a mixed bag of indies that either shined or fell through the cracks. The first quarter to half of the year did not impress me, but by the end, I can look back satisfied by the quality released.

I did slightly spoil this in my best-of list for the decade, but I am sure most of you may not have read that. Nonetheless, the rest of the entries may surprise.

Due to time constraints and retail being utter hell during the holiday season, some films will get skipped as I have not seen Richard Jewell, Little Women, or 1917. You bet I will try to knock those all out once the Academy Awards pop up.

Prepare to either cheer or bring out your pitchforks with my top movies of the year. I am sure someone will be happy or furious on my picks as this list is mostly going off of my enjoyment with a sprinkle of critical reasoning behind the brilliant techniques many of these films utilized to be worthy of making it on my subpar blog.

Honorable mentions: John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum, Detective Pikachu, IT Chapter 2, Stuber, Zombieland Double Tap, Captain Marvel, and Shazam!

#12: Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus

This nostalgia trip with one of my favorite childhood shows was a blast. The years since the final episode before its cancelation has aged well as Enter the Florpus feels like nothing has changed with all of its weirdness and darkness that Invader Zim was known for in the early 2000s.

Please, Nickelodeon, give me more.

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Image via Netflix/Nickelodeon

#11: Us 

It may not have had the same punch as Jordan Peele’s horror debut Get Out, but Us is easily one of the best horror films of the year. Cranking up the intensity and gore from his 2017 masterpiece, this still keeps the comedian’s style of social commentary, a focus on people of color, and a dash of humor to level out the terrifying experience. The message may not be as impactful, but it certainly delivers a heart-pounding viewing that goes into the weirder depth of the filmmaker’s demented mind.

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Image via Universal Pictures

#10: El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

Breaking Bad had a satisfying finale to Walter White’s arc along with plenty of other characters, but Jesse. Aaron Paul got a chance to seal off that narrative that was initially left in the darkness. I felt it could have been left alone as my stomach was full on this meth filled world, but I ate every second up of El Camino with its compelling presentation. I could not resist one final goodbye to Jesse Pinkman.

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Image via Netflix

#9: Blinded by the Light

This wholesome look at a fan of Bruce Springsteen has more to offer than what it appears. The power of music can change someone’s life, even a whole family’s dynamic. Blinded by the Light has plenty to say that warmed my heart despite not being a fan of the legendary musician. It may not be an actual award, but this gets a mental trophy from me for being the most delightful movie of 2019.

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Image via Warner Bros. Pictures

#8: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

It may not be my favorite Tarantino film as it did not have the consistent humor I find so attractive in his projects. Still, I can’t complain too much as I am happy for another release by the legendary director and writer.

What it lacks, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, has the memorable characters with phenomenal acting that is expected across his filmography. It is no Pulp Fiction or Django Unchained, but it is still Tarantino in all of his foot fetish filled glory.

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Image via Sony Pictures Releasing

#7: Ready or Not

A horror comedy with commentary on the rich and powerful, what’s not to love? Seriously, this is a wild ride of gore, intensity, and laugh out loud moments that filled my eyes with tears. Full of quirky characters to remember who make the slower spots not die out in between the hunting for the bride.

Everyone knocks it out of the park, but Samara Weaving rightfully takes the spotlight as a funny heroine who can be grippingly compelling in the most dramatic of moments then turn around to be the ass-kicker of this wealthy Satan-worshipping family that I did not realize I needed so much. Rarely one performance sells me on one’s talent, well, Weaving will be that exception as she was phenomenal every step of the way.

Now it is time for me to look through her IMDB page and watch more films she has starred in. Maybe The Babysitter or Guns Akimbo will be next on the list.

This is the moment where I realized she was in Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, and feel dumb as hell.

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Image via 20th Century Fox

#7: Spider-Man: Far From Home

The MCU take on Spider-Man has swung past my wildest expectations, much of which is due to Tom Holland being the best Peter Parker/Spidey imaginable. Far From Home takes twists and turns that I did not expect (seriously, that after-credits scene took me so much by surprise that I think I lost a few years off my life).

The cherry on top of this sequel is that it goes from one of my favorite actors as the antagonist in Homecoming with Michael Keaton as the Vulture, and now Spider-Man’s second standalone tackles the beautiful Jake Gyllenhaal as Mysterio, that is what I am talking about boys.

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Image via Marvel Studios/Disney

#6: Joker

I know it got divisive, but I thought Joker was incredible. The superhero genre has plenty to push it forward, and this did exactly what I hoped it could achieve. A crime drama that feels like comic bookey and more like a real-life look at a man’s descent into madness and violence.

Regardless of what anyone thinks of this controversial origin story, Joaquin Phoenix is one of the best Jokers depicted on the big screen. I still have to give Heath Ledger the win out of the live-action movies, and Mark Hamill will live on to be the greatest to ever portray the iconic villain.

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Image via DC/Warner Bros.

#5: Avengers: Endgame

The most epic and satisfying conclusion I have ever experienced came from the end of the Infinity Saga. The Avengers facing off with Thanos one more time defied expectations I had for it. Resolving Iron Man, Captain America, and Black Widow was an emotional rollercoaster that closed out their character arcs respectfully.

I have seen depressing movies before, but nothing has made me cry more than Endgame. That is right, go ahead and judge me that I cried harder over superheroes than I did when I watched Manchester by the Sea.

Now I am waiting for the next phase to see what the future holds for the MCU.

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Image via Marvel Studios/Disney

#4: Midsommar

Ari Aster’s second feature continues his moody tone, religious and mental illness related themes, and brings down a hammer of emotional abuse to both his characters and audience. Midsommar is much more artsy and weird compared to Hereditary, making it the only movie here that I have a hard time recommending despite it making to number four on the list. If all of this sounds like your jam, then check it out, if not then avoid this folk horror film.

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Image via A24

#3: Knives Out

This whodunit is an absolute blast from start to finish. Rian Johnson had many moviegoers question his abilities due to the divisive Last Jedi, but I knew he would deliver something brilliant.

Outside of having the best cast of the year, Knives Out is both delightful and thrilling with its murder mystery. Nothing feels overly serious or goofy, the tone feels perfect settled in between to make it as accessible as possible. Not many of the entries on this list I would rewatch over and over, but Johnson’s later film can get looked over dozens of times without getting bored.

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Image via Lionsgate

#2: Parasite

Parasite is an unusual type of thriller, as it seems to have such low stakes that end up skyrocketing by the end. I went in, knowing nearly nothing and was blown away by this experience. If there were to be one film that could bridge the mainstream and artsy audiences, you are looking at it right here.

Interesting enough, 2019 had enough with rich people as this is the third film on my list that has commentary on socioeconomic statuses.

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Image via NEON

#1: Jojo Rabbit

Both hilarious and moving enough to rip out my heart, Taika Waititi has outdone himself as a director, writer, and actor. Unlike many WW2 movies, this is one of the most nuanced perspectives on a war without having to go into large scale battles. It keeps the setting intimate yet looks at the bigger picture of its subject manner. Jojo Rabbit may seem like a silly choice to put as my movie of the year, but it packs a punch in more ways than one while being as rewatchable as Knives Out or Endgame.

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Image via 20th Century Fox

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Ranking Every Star Wars Movie From Worst to Best According to Rotten Tomatoes

The saga has ended. With the release of Star Wars Episode 9: Rise of the Skywalker, the longrunning story arc has concluded, for now, until more films get made. This monumental moment does stir up the conversation of the best entries in the series, which I will look to Rotten Tomatoes for this one.

If you have a problem, now you can’t blame me, unlike other rankings on the Internet. Take the torches and pitchforks to the review-aggregation site as this is how I will conduct the rankings from the professionals and audiences.

Yes, I will have two different lists here. One is for the critic score, and the other is the audience. Decide which is right or wrong, or both can be wrong or right. You can figure it all out yourselves.

CRITIC:

#10: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (53%)

#9: Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker (55%)

#8: Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (66%)

#7: Solo: A Star Wars Story (70%)

#6: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (80%)

#5: Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (81%)

#4: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (84%)

#3: Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi (91%)

#2 (TIE): Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope and Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (93%)

#1: Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (95%)

AUDIENCE:

#9: Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi (44%)

#8: Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (56%)

#7: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (59%)

#6: Solo: A Star Wars Story (64%)

#5: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (66%)

#4 (TIE): Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker, and Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (86%)

#3: Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (94%)

#2: Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (96%)

#1: Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (97%)

How would you personally rank each of the Star Wars movies? Let me know in the comments.

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